Raiding the Freezer and Other Such Sins

Listening to: Been Caught Stealing – Jane’s Addiction – the video is genius

Mood: Shifty

We seem to have time periods at our house where the natives just go bananas. And by natives, I mean my eldest daughter. And by going bananas, I mean, well, going bananas. I came downstairs yesterday morning to find a very peculiar, strong smell. I quickly processed this into the smell of nail polish. My daughter had decided it was a good day to update her and her little sister’s manicures. I opened the freezer last night and found the ice cream sitting open with a spoon sticking straight up out of it. Now, I know this wasn’t me. I at least close the lid when I raid the ice cream. Eating ice cream out of the container is way too low brow for hubby, and the wee one does not have the dexterity to open the ice cream carton or eat out of it with a spoon. This leaves one obvious culprit. We had a yelling, crying, tantrum in the middle of the street this week. Now one by one, these offenses seem like isolated children’s chicanery. I can’t believe I actually used this word in a sentence. I’m such a nerd.  Put them together, and we get one of the time periods I was mentioning. I like to think I’m pretty observant, but this comes straight out of left field and smacks me in the head.  I have yet to find any cause that would warrant a set off of prolonged crazy behavior.  Halloween is coming up next weekend, and I have threatened to cancel it. Halloween is my FAVORITE holiday, but am that frustrated. In my head, I am repeating the mantra that this too must end at some point, but I am also holding onto sanity with my teeth.  How do you deal with this kind of thing? It will, as I mentioned, eventually stop, but what gives? Ignoring definitely isn’t in my arsenal of acceptable responses. Beating with a broom is out too, even if it is super tempting. I’ve tried reasoning, talking to her like an adult, shaming, screaming, having a tantrum…etc. Nothing is working.  I guess the most frustrating thing is that this is all behavior that she KNOWS is wrong, but continues to defy. It all seems like behavior that is way too young for one almost 7 too. And yes mother, I know I can’t let her get away with it. I’m throwing pretty much everything in my arsenal at her and getting no response at all. Lots of fighting back, then crying, then saying she won’t do it again. The not doing it again lasts for all of 5 minutes. No kidding.

Becky

Traditions and Discipline

Mood: Bleh

Listening to: MTV music videos

It’s October in NY. We have some nice, cool weather going on along with the customary beautiful display of fall colors on the trees. Halloween being my favorite holiday of all time, our family decided to head out to a pumpkin farm  to pick up some pumpkins to carve, apples, and apple cider. This is one of our traditions in my family. We do it every year. This year, we decided to head up to Lyman’s Orchard up in Connecticut. I didn’t realize it, but that place is almost a 2 hour drive from our house.

Our weekend before we left consisted of a LOT of whining and fighting from my kids. Now the question that I have is how you integrate discipline with traditions. At our house, we are constantly trying to balance what should be automatically given (i.e. food, clothing, ) with what can and should be earned (i.e. tv time, toys, etc). Traditions seem to fall in a grey areas for us. We want to provide our kids with enjoyable traditions that happen every year, but what do you do when they act like horrible little demented trolls? And how do you deal with it when it’s already happening and you’re two hours away from home? 

We ended up going home early and not stopping for donuts.  So what is the way to handle discipline and traditions?

Baby Mama Wanna Be

Mood: Ambiguous

Listening to: The First Nor’easter of the season blow the world around outside the windows

A very good friend of mine recently let me in on a little secret. She’s pregnant with her 4^th baby. As she is a good friend of mine, the only thing to do was to suck in a deep breath and congratulate her. After all, I am happy for her. The only problem with the whole situation was the ugly shade of green I was turning. I’m talking like spinach type green here people…it was bad. 

The thing is, I would REALLY like to add to our family. The universe has blessed my husband and I with two beautiful, healthy (mostly anyhow) daughters, for which we are eternally grateful.  I am of the mind that I would like to have one more baby-type being in our house. My husband does not share the sentiment. He has some pretty strong reasons why we should not have another child, I have some equally positive ones why we should. Being the autocratic sweetie that he is, he has decreed that another child is out. So….I guess that’s that.  Only I’m completely unhappy with the way the entire discussion happened. I think the hardest thing about this is that it was not a one-time decision.  I rethink the whole issue every time my youngest grows out of a set of clothes, I see a friend’s baby, or hear about yet another pregnancy among my friends and classmates.  As an almost 30 year old, there are definitely no shortages of pregnancies among my friends and classmates.

It makes me rather sad that this kind of thing infringes upon my happiness for my friend. I would rather just be happy for her.

Becky

On Why the Radio is Evil – or yet another example of how I’ve turned into my mother

Mood: Thoughtful and pensive

Listening to: Broken (Seether) and the beautiful silence that is one child in school and the other asleep.

Music is very important in our house. I’m not talking about the pretentious manner of those who force feed their children classical music and find it important, I’m talking a spiritual connection to music. I LOVE music of all shades and colors (including classical) and have tried my best to expose my kids to all different kids so that they develop an appreciation for different songs, even if they don’t like a specific genre (whiney country music – looking specifically at you!) We listen to music from all over the world. Old, new, you name it. I’ve recently run into a roadblock in my quest to expose them to as many different things as possible. They have developed their own taste, and it runs strongly towards the skanky new pop music on the popular radio station.

This in combination with a growing awareness of lyrics and attitudes has made it increasingly difficult to expose them to music that goes beyond bubblegum type kids songs. Music expresses many things that are far too deep for children to understand, let alone process. Sexuality, anger, spirituality, love, etc. Most of the stuff that we listen to on the popular radio channel is pretty innocent, but I’ve come face to face with some very uncomfortably sexual lyrics (Katie, Kesha) and attitudes that I don’t necessarily agree with my children having. In fact, I enjoy the same songs that I am now determined to keep my children away from. In one way, it seems distinctly hypocritical (especially when they so helpfully call it that!), on the other hand I’m almost 30. I have years and maturity behind me that my children don’t…so tough luck Charlie. I completely support their effort to create whatever music they choose, but also support my own prerogative to decide something is too mature for them. That is my job after all.

I do use some of these things as opportunities to talk to my kids (especially my almost 7 year old) about tough issues. We’ve had conversations about drugs and boys that otherwise may not have happened. I’m a big fan of having discussions about things that our family finds important (no drinking, drugs, or boys until after college!) and brain washing them with reinforced ideas. Well, not really brainwashing, but hey, they need to get information and our family attitudes from somewhere!

I can remember growing up and being restricted to listening to either Christian pop music or oldies (i.e. 60’s pop). I don’t think I need to shelter my children quite that much, but I now completely appreciate my parent’s desire to shield me from something that can have as profound an influence as music can and did.

Becky